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A Long Time Coming

by B-REX

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1.
Debriefing 01:49
I no longer agree with the words that once occupied this page. Written from a time and place where I no longer belong. But these words are a part of me A piece of my history. A part of my past Tales of where I have gone and what I have done. The lessons I've learned along the way. From making mistakes, in over my head, Being lost in myself. A place of arrogance, and a selfishness. And I know that someday I will feel the same about these words that now lay upon this page. The most that we can do, is make the best with what we're given, and strive to start each day anew. As if I had all of the answers, but we never will.
2.
For so many years I've wondered exactly what this song is about. But after so much time I guess I just have to say it’s about how I feel about my art. And the fact that I'm blessed with music, because I know how to express myself. I don't feel that I have to write anything for anyone else. Not trying to gain fans, because I do this for myself. I do this for myself. I do this for myself. I refuse to fall into some scene based upon, How you fucking dress, and how you fucking act, 'cause it's a god damn... POPULARITY CONTEST. Where the prize of fame is glorified... Is glorified to the ones with the greatest fashion sense. Forgetting the talent and respect for the art, How the fuck are you rewarded when we can't tell you apart? You stupid mother fucker- BALLS We're gonna go out drinking, we're gonna start a fight. Soooooooo We're gonna go out drinking, we're gonna start a fight! I'm gonna go out drinking, I’M GONNA GET IN A FIGHT!!! LET GO!!!.... FUCK! So I guess that I've written this song, To say to hell with you, and fuck what you do, Because I know that music's something that should come from the heart. If you don't like what I do then I don't care to know your name. This is the reason I was placed here on this earth. You might say that I am full of myself, And I'd be the first one to agree, but after all I've done, I think I've earned the fucking right. At times it may be hard, but there is always... A silver lining, because I'm proud of myself. And that's something, I wouldn't trade for the world.
3.
What is the meaning? The meaning to this reason we are here? On this place that we call earth, Call our home. To this life that we've been given. By a god or maybe, just a chance of fate. We can spend hours and hours and days upon weeks wondering... The answers to questions without a certain answer. But in the end we have to answer as best we can. The answer is whatever you want it to be. Do you want to be remembered? Do you want to find true love? To be the best that you can be? (X2) Or maybe just to look back and know that you don't have a single regret. Take those virtues and values that you have in life, and never let them go. No don't ever let them go, for the world. Cause it’s these things that make us exactly who we are. (X2) Spend life asking questions, But try your hardest, to never question yourself. And even though times may be hard, There is always hope for another day, And a chance to start all over. Cause it's these things in life that make us exactly who we are. (X2)
4.
What the fuck are you even doing here? Every time I get you off my mind, your thoughts come running back to me. A simple statement, a single text, yet no matter what every word screams I miss you. And I have to admit, my life was going fine, until I saw you back into my life. I don't want my name to ever be something that you will regret. A permanent mark, on your permanent record. Just ask yourself, who has been there for you. Who has helped you through and swore that they will never lie to you. The heart wants what your mind declines and you never seem to listen. Never seem to listen to good advice when it’s given. But who am I to judge? I've never listened and neither have you. You stupid FUCK!!! I don't want my name to ever be something that you will regret. I love myself because I know just who I am. You're illustration, a fake, A fucking mannequin without thought or feeling. You've lost everything that made you original. There was a point in time where you drove me to abandon everything, So long as I had you by my side. Because to hell with the world, just so long as I had you by my side. Let's go.
5.
What the fuck are you doing?! I never thought that I would know what it was like, To see the life drop out from your eyes. Consumed by a substance. Your life has now fallen into pieces. Go and bleed away. Your every thought, for better days. Drag yourself away, From the needle that has consumed you. And you were my best friend, a person that I said I would be there for until... Until the very end because of everything (THAT WE) we have been through (HAVE BEEN THROUGH) I used to think that you lacked the strength to come out of this alive. And your path could only end, By ether doing time, or your ashes blowing with the wind. You are my brother, you are my family. Bonds thicker than blood. Bonds thicker than blood. You've sold yourself short. **BLAT** You've sold yourself short. You've lost potential!!! I can't believe the days and the times you've spent, WASTED WITHOUT KNOWING WHO YOU ARE?!? So please pull out! Before you hit the bottom. This is the end for you. And you are my best friend, someone that I said, I would be there for until Until the very end because of everything, we have been through I find it hard to believe How could you betray my trust? Like this... I have stuck up for you above all others, But never again, because guess what? Now I know you better than that! Even though we don't speak anymore, I choose to ignore, All that I hear. Because I always believed that you had was best in mind for yourself... But not anymore, and never again. Cause I'm so tired of all this wasted effort. I have enough on my plate, without wondering whether you will live to see tomorrow. And I will always be your friend, but it is clear that you do not need me to always try and fight your battles for you while you're gone, I hope for nothing but the best for you in life my friend my brother...
6.
Never Enough 06:15
Sometimes it’s never enough to just sit by, And remain silent, when every thought in your head, Is simply tearing at the walls. And screaming to come out. The times that I’ve sat by keeping my mouth shut when, When every thought, and every impulse, are simply bursting at the seams. I am finally getting to old to keep my mouth shut anymore Instead of expressing the way I feel. With all I do With all I believe And I, try so hard to make you see, Yet you live with a veil over your eyes. Held captive by your own selfishness. Forever weighing you down, Blinding all that you see. This isn’t what I deserve, if only you could read my mind. Then maybe you’d truly understand, the life that we could have had, And now you’ve thrown it all away (X4) I hope, that you will live to regret this. I hope, that you will live to regret this. Because I know I will. I will live to regret those things, that I should have said. Those things that I should have done. To make you truly understand, just how much you meant to me. (AWWWWW SHITTTTT) No matter what I try you never see, Every thought says that you're not worth my time. Release me from this spell, you hold on me. I won't be a captive to your callous ways. I have so much to give, but you're not meant to receive. Before you burned that bridge, Before I burned that bridge myself. Balls. If only I had found my tongue, And said exactly how I felt. Then maybe this story wouldn’t have an end. Or at least not the one, That leaves us both feeling, Like it was, NEVER ENOUGH! Cause it was never enough! We both wanted more, But couldn’t act. In spite of our own fears. As the bystander to this story, And yet the main character. I realize that we pass up on life, When we’re afraid too act. Letting fate pass all of us by, Moments we can never take back!
7.
Nothing 02:48
8.
I have never felt something like this for anyone else before. You can see me in ways that I can't even see myself. But lately it seems like this distance is slowly tearing us apart. It seems like we're always fighting, yet I know that in our hearts both of us don't want to. And if we don’t want to be here, than why are we here? It seems like an endless cycle, a disruptive hurricane. But we can't let the winds tear us down. We have come too far to become lost, adrift at sea. These questions, they burn inside of me. Just give me a sign so I can breathe. So I can breathe. And I love you with all of my heart, so why can't we just work this out? That is the question. I was lost and did not know what to do, I just wish that someone would just give me a sign? For someone to just show me the way, and tell me why is this happening? But there is no book to love, there is no guide to life. No guide to life. These questions, they burn inside me. How should I be acting? What should I be doing? In the end there's no one who can tell you, You have to find out on your own. Leaving footsteps in the soil, every step of the way. So now I'm done asking question, I am done seeking answers. I have rolled my own dice, And I've made my mistakes. I have made my own mistakes So now I ask my own questions, I have found my own answers. I now hold my own dice, And I accept, my... Accept my mistakes. I have put myself out there before but not ever in this way. And every time that I have tried, it's clear that I will always be misread. I was never created to be able to meet somebody and not hold care for them in my heart. Some people might say that's a weakness but they have never known what it means to have a true friend before. I guess that's what drives me to wear my heart on my sleeve, and put my whole self into every relationship I have. Whether be friends, family, or love. Because you see there is something good inside of all of us whether we choose to show it or not. I always try to look past and to see the best in people. Despite the way that I act might seem to contradict my words sometimes, I always try to love more than I tried to hate. And I know that you feel the same, I guess that is why I loved you so damn much. I loved you so damn much. And now I'm hating myself, And I'm hurting myself, And I'm crying for help. Could somebody please tell me why… I cannot just seem to move on, and take back my life? Without being burdened (burdened) by the ghost that you have left behind. All those restless night spent wallowing in anger, now I know, that there, There is a better way to fill my time because I have- LEARNED FROM MY PAST! But lately now I finally see (that who I was) wasn't the person I'm destined to be because I'd always wanted but never needed you. And I know that there's a reason to live here in the moment, without fixating upon our past because mistakes are lessons to be learned in life, and I have made mine. And since we both had to leave here, I wish you nothing but the best and hope that someday we can meet as friends, at a different place and at a different time. And right now I may not know just who I am, but I'm taking the right steps to get there, Cause my life is mine to decide.
9.
24 03:57
A man who has reached his goals. He now knows not where to go. Now that, he has finished. All the objectives he had placed there, for himself. Reduced to coasting through. Coasting through the motions. No desire for striving forward. For he knows not now where to go. Or would he feel content? Feeling comfort and feeling complete. Looking back finding pride. In all that he has done. Accomplishment adorn the walls. And they adorn his self. As he looks around the room, he begins to smile. For in the eyes of man, for in the eyes of the world, he is young. His mind and heart feel old. There is nothing that he now desires. To go beyond. For he is tired. The man has reached... The man has reached all of his goals. He closes his eyes, for one last time... A smile upon his face. As he, embraces the end. Is this a tragedy? Or this a tale of beauty? Do we be sad for him? Do we, do we be sad for this man? Or should we be glad for him? Not possessing the drive, to find new compass in life. Or see beauty, for he had- Accomplished, all that he had desired. All that, he had placed before himself. As motivation, to press on. Balls.
10.
A fork appears in the middle of the road that we call life. One path offers everything your heart can desire, the other a safe and fruitful life. But the man’s heart fills with greed not knowing that it comes with a price, a very deadly price. Years later he now has everything. Fame fortune, and the wife of his dreams. Little did he know that there was trouble in the waters. Suddenly his wife has fallen ill. Rushing the doctors- PLEASE GOD DO NOT TAKE HER The doctors cannot save her she is going to- DIEEEEEEEEEE :) He falls down a broken man. A man appears, dressed in black claiming that he can save her life. Yet at what cost? He asks as he signs on the dotted line. The man looks at him with darkness in his eyes as he smiles and says "your own son" I take it back! Please take it back! This isn't what I wanted! With selfish choices I have ruined everything. God what HAVE I DONE?!? Awake again in the same place where I have started. Was it all just a dream? You have been given another chance to go back and live your life again. Repeat the same mistakes and you will be doomed to the same fate. This opportunity only happens once. Don't take it for granted... Listen to you conscience instead of following your greed. Actions lead by selfish desires. But if you put forth more than what you take. Without intent to consume. Guide not your actions towards substance. Then you can find your soul at peace...
11.
A raven arrives in the dead of night. Dark wings dark words proclaims a raven’s flight. Jon Arryn is dead. The king now rides, from the South, To declare his new hand. An offer that would be heard out. The wolf has abandoned his pack. To serve as the voice of the stag. To uncover the truth. And keep the lions at bay. Now he sits on the throne, In the presence of liars. Holding on to his honor, While he prays for his soul. A man with honor who has always known, That winter is coming for the North is his home. But the truth has been now revealed. The Truth is revealed. The heir's a bastard born of incest and lies. Her brother’s seed has been laid between her thighs. The heirs a bastard born of incest and lies. The heirs a bastard born of incest and lies. Now while the king is away, He beckons the queen in his name. You'll confess all your sins. Treachery shall stain your name. Robert shall never know of this, For my sins are my own. I vow you will rue the day, The lion crushes the wolf. The sound of bells fills the air, Announcing that the king has been slain. To his son he now leaves a kingdom, As the heir of his name. Little did he know... The wolf sleeps in the lion’s den. He's been declared a traitor. Now they've taken his... HEAD!!! (X4) The North shall rise... The North Shall Rise!!! To heed the call of the wolf. The North shall rise. They have taken our liege lord. Lion’s blood will fill the skies. To battle my troops! The young wolf shall scream. We must not let this go, Go unpunished. The North will rise. (BALLS) The North will rise. To take back the honor, Of our, dying house. A thousand years, This hasn't been sang. Ten thousand years, ALL HAIL THE KING OF THE NORTH!!!
12.
Will somebody help to me save, Save my fucking life? I am doing nothing I am wasting away I am fading to grey Always hoping that I'll turn another page In this story that we call life Because my chapter is getting old So sick of playing the game, so sick of running away, From all of the things, in life that truly matter. That we are, supposed to, focus on. I know what I must do, but why do I seem, to lack the strength, and motivation? To finally act upon these impulses, that are so constantly flooding through my mind. Occupying every thought, cultivating every dream. Screaming why won't you just stand up and take responsibility for yourself? Abandon selfish thought, pull your head out of your ass, Realize what you've been doing, and strive to reach your potential. For this is not who I am. Another face in the crowd. No aspiration for tomorrow. FUCK!!! Never fear for yourself, learn to become someone else, Step outside from your shoes, realize and become new. Becoming the person you want to be, the one that you see, when you close your eyes. Becoming the person you want to be. Cause what you're doing here, is based on fear, And something you someday will regret. For today is here, and tomorrow is near, With the future far to close... Continue on this path, and watch the years pass by. Until one day you are old, and every story you have told, And you realize that you should have lived, When you had the chance. (Balls) How will you will ever know, if you have never tried? The greatest failure in life, is never leaving your comfort zone. How will you ever know, if you have never tried? How will you ever know, if you've never tried? Each day only happens once, So make the most of what you can. I know that I am destined for so much more. And I shouldn't be content, with just selling myself short. Pushing forward to reach my potential. And I swear to myself, I will hit the ground running, Cause this has been A Long Time Coming. I'm done waiting for things to come. Putting my life on hold. Afraid to let things grow. I won't let this swallow me. (X3) FORFEIT MYSELF TO THIS!!! Never fear for yourself, learn to become someone else. Step outside from your shoes, realize and become new. Becoming the person you want to be, the one that you see, when you close your eyes. Becoming the person you want to be. Because tomorrow is just a step away, for you to stop and say, What the FUCK have I been doing here for so long? What have I become? Afraid of failure, or afraid of change. In the end the result is the same. A lack of progress, No growth or motion. No Motion.

about

6 years in the making, A Long Time Coming was the perfect title for this album.

credits

released September 30, 2016

Cover art by Ryan Berrier @ Ryan Berrier Design & Photo.
All music written, performed, and recorded by Ben "B-REX" Monroe.
Guitar solo on Nothing performed by Steven Banks.
Guest Vocals on Question Mark by Ryan Hopson.

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B-REX Des Moines, Iowa

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