Question Mark

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I have never felt something like this for anyone else before.
You can see me in ways that I can't even see myself.
But lately it seems like this distance is slowly tearing us apart.
It seems like we're always fighting, yet I know that in our hearts both of us don't want to.
And if we don’t want to be here, than why are we here?
It seems like an endless cycle, a disruptive hurricane.
But we can't let the winds tear us down.
We have come too far to become lost, adrift at sea.
These questions, they burn inside of me.
Just give me a sign so I can breathe.
So I can breathe.
And I love you with all of my heart, so why can't we just work this out?
That is the question.
I was lost and did not know what to do,
I just wish that someone would just give me a sign?
For someone to just show me the way, and tell me why is this happening?
But there is no book to love, there is no guide to life.
No guide to life.
These questions, they burn inside me.
How should I be acting?
What should I be doing?
In the end there's no one who can tell you,
You have to find out on your own.
Leaving footsteps in the soil, every step of the way.
So now I'm done asking question,
I am done seeking answers.
I have rolled my own dice,
And I've made my mistakes.
I have made my own mistakes
So now I ask my own questions,
I have found my own answers.
I now hold my own dice,
And I accept, my...
Accept my mistakes.
I have put myself out there before but not ever in this way.
And every time that I have tried, it's clear that I will always be misread.
I was never created to be able to meet somebody and not hold care for them in my heart.
Some people might say that's a weakness but they have never known what it means to have a true friend before.
I guess that's what drives me to wear my heart on my sleeve, and put my whole self into every relationship I have.
Whether be friends, family, or love.
Because you see there is something good inside of all of us whether we choose to show it or not.
I always try to look past and to see the best in people.
Despite the way that I act might seem to contradict my words sometimes, I always try to love more than I tried to hate.
And I know that you feel the same, I guess that is why I loved you so damn much.
I loved you so damn much.
And now I'm hating myself,
And I'm hurting myself,
And I'm crying for help.
Could somebody please tell me why…
I cannot just seem to move on, and take back my life?
Without being burdened (burdened) by the ghost that you have left behind.
All those restless night spent wallowing in anger, now I know, that there,
There is a better way to fill my time because I have-
But lately now I finally see (that who I was) wasn't the person I'm destined to be because I'd always wanted but never needed you.
And I know that there's a reason to live here in the moment, without fixating upon our past because mistakes are lessons to be learned in life, and I have made mine.
And since we both had to leave here, I wish you nothing but the best and hope that someday we can meet as friends, at a different place and at a different time.
And right now I may not know just who I am, but I'm taking the right steps to get there,
Cause my life is mine to decide.


from A Long Time Coming, released September 30, 2016



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